Fishgutts

Drunkenness….

2008-02-07T06:14:00.000Z

Intoxicated, wasted and plastered… steamin (UK talk), blitzed and spoiled in drunkenness…

Now love is like fine wine. Taking time to grow and develop; and in the like it takes much experience and a wide base of sampling, even trial and error, for one to become a true connoisseur.

As one grows in their experience they begin to develop a palette, and a genuine love and interest forms… and so it is with Love. For love too takes time to develop and grow, and afterwards a true appreciation develops and deepens, even through much trial and error… but as our palette becomes refined, we become 'drinkers' of the Divine.

Now people themselves are not the wine, but His love is. And to pour that wine of His perfect love (even Jesus) into others' lives is the most loving thing we could do. To love people from a genuine and sincere heart… and not to see them as a duty, a project or an aesthetic of sophistication which we can boast to our friends, 'yes I drank this delightful 96 Bordeaux Chateau Pichon Baron last summer in France' … 'yah I evangelised 12 people this week' ....flaunting 'achievement', rather than delighting and sharing in the exquisite taste of pure love.

And so let us keep on sampling, experimenting with, and growing in our enjoyment of the Divine wine (His Love)… loving Love and truly loving people, opening wide our hearts, sincerely interested in lives, and appreciating each other's God given uniqueness and difference. And so let us drink, even to the point of drunkenness with His love…

- Now some speak from envy and strife (which is from selfish ambition)… and then there are others who speak from good will and love… but either way I will rejoice that His name is being made known… but the second is the better. - Phil. 1:15-18

Currently I am planning on going to Tokyo and Sapporo to talk to half a dozen groups (Crusade, OMF, Calvary…) and see what possibilities I could fit into best... but whatever setting He has me in, as long as there are people there, I do not see it as being a problem… for where there are people, there is chance for Love to be shared and to flourish (for love is relational and not isolated). I will be in Japan April and May, and then return to the States (for 3 months or so) to take care of visas and the such… and then hope to return long term later this Aug/Sept.

Thank you all for all your prayers and love… I am so thankful to be part of the divine glory with you all. Much sincere and genuine thankfulness and love. g-

変な菌が私の人差し指にあります.
(hen na kin ga watashi no hitosashiyubi ni arimasu).

--- Translation: There is a weird fungus on my index finger.

Giving up...

2008-01-16T04:54:00.000Z

If we were to gather the world's best musicians past, present and future, and assemble them into the best symphony orchestra that this world has ever seen... and putting our all into it we decided to make the most majestic song for and unto God... ...what would that really be? ...maybe at best like a sloppy finger painting from a 2-year old; colours mismatched, out of the lines, off the page, with no real skill nor technical talent. For in actuality what is the world's best to God, but a sloppy finger painting from a 2-year old...

But yet, it is that same 2-year old when he has put his whole heart into it, and despite having no technical skill nor talent, he goes to his father and says, 'hey daddy, look... I made this for you.' And it is that same father who takes this disastrous and hopeless thing of a mess, frames it and hangs it on the wall in his office, and says, 'my son made this for me,' and he looks on it with pure joy... for the father is looking at his son's heart and not his skill. And so I thank God with all my heart that He does not grade us on our skill or performance... …for if He did, none would pass.

As for me, I am in California at the moment... preparing to go to Japan (am looking to go over for a couple months) and talk to various people and groups to see where I might fit best. And although at this point I do not know what it will all look like (maybe even like a sloppy finger painting)... but nevertheless, whatever it is I end up doing, I hope and pray I could give it my all for HimimHimH... and even when that fails, I thank Him for His grace.

Let us continue to rest in the unwavering assurance that He has taken care of it all... where we need not win His approval, but simply accept His love, mercy and grace (Jesus).

"...for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." - 1 Samuel 16:7

Hands, feet and pancreas…

2007-11-13T06:38:00.000Z

"And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some asevangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping ofthe saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body ofChrist…" - Eph. 4:11-12

Prophets, pastors, teachers… are these like the vitals organs of abody? … for it is the organs which supply (equip) the rest of the bodywith blood, life and nutrients (teaching, watering and nurturing)….but if this is the case, what does the rest of the body do and what isits 'work of service'?

Could not one of its primary roles be to interact, engage and do workin the outside world? For it is the hands which pick things up and dowork, and it is the feet which move the body along and into differentenvironments across this world. But do not the working professional,the student and the family set in a neighbourhood do the same? Arethey not the ones engaging, interacting and reaching out into the'outside' world on a daily basis?

There is one type of 'missionary' (a church planter, maybe more of avital organ) who goes into an already existing community (even nation)and seeks to build a new community inviting people in, but anothertype of missionary (say a hand or a foot) goes into an alreadyexisting community and as much as he or she can becomes part of thatcommunity, interacting and working with it. Now both types ofmissionaries are needed, and maybe one can be a mix of the two… buteither way I would suggest the majority are missionaries (usually ofthe second type), seeking to make His name known in, through andamongst the world?

I once saw a picture of a city set in complete black, not being ableto see where the sky ended and the earth began, but knowing whereeverything was… and amongst it all there were floating lightsscattered all about, here and there… one in a supermarket, two on the4th floor of this building and three across the street in that park.Interacting and spreading out amongst the darkness the lights shined…dispersed, diffused and dissolved (as much as light can dissolve indarkness) into and across the city; each seeking to fashion glory onall it touched or came across.

We often commission (send off) our overseas 'missionaries' with honourand prestige, but when was the last time we sent the school teacher,the office worker, the architect or the plumber out into theirmissions field with prayer, support and praise?

As for me things are moving along, having talked to quite a fewpeople… yet I still do not know in what exact capacity I will beworking in Japan… as a hand, a foot or vital organ (or maybe a mix ofall three)… but nevertheless I would really appreciate your supportand help in this venture. Unfortunately, the hands have to feed thebody and even the vital organs so they may function and survivethemselves. And so if I am to be a vital organ and you would like to'feed' me, you can send any support to:

Thank you all for everything He has blessed me with through you, overthe years; in all sincerity and with much love. g-

Crumbs...

2007-10-23T02:45:00.000+01:00

“…but even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters' table.” - Matt 15:27

To possess a single speck from the Mightiest Kingdom, to gain a mere glimpse into the Holy Realm, to even taste a Divine Crumb from the Table of God… …for this would be enough. A Divine Crumb for who can even imagine? …colossal in glory, glowing in appearance, towering higher then our largest structures and being more weighty than our heaviest ships; oh the shear magnitude and overwhelming breadth of a lone crumb from the Table of God! A single gaze upon it would awe and satisfy countless days. And yet…

…He has not only given us crumbs, but He has set up the Seat of Honor and prepared the most lavish of all banquets for us (psalm 23). And He has not only canceled our debt (bringing us back to zero), but instead He has graced us with all the vast riches of the abundant Storehouses, overflowing in Wealth and pouring forth in Delight, that is the unending Treasuries of the Kingdom of God!!!

Exceedingly and Great are the Gifts of God, soaring far beyond what the human mind and heart can comprehend. Great are His gifts towards those who believe!

I thank God so much for the ‘First Fruits’ the small tastes of heavenly glory which I have experienced here in Glasgow. My heart melts when I think of all the wonderful relationships He has graced me, and I rejoice in great love for the people here. And so when I think about the possibility of leaving this place, it does very much sadden my heart.

Much love. g-

Amnesia...

2007-09-25T02:32:00.000+01:00

“What we are in His sight is all that we are, nothing more nothing less.” - Francis of Assisi

There are two worlds which exist, the imaginary and the Real; for there exists the dream and then there stands the Reality of the Real.

The first is a world which settles like an early morning fog, but ceases when confronted by the noonday sun. It has no substance nor ground on which to stand, nor does it realize the fleeting breath by which it feeds. For it passes by as a moment, not much more stable then cool water in one’s hand. And yet many are subject to her and her ways, having a false confidence; a single delusioned day in which to play.

But yet the second world knows none of these things, for in her very being is grounded Fact and her sure foundation is Truth itself. More real than real could ever be; she stands clearly, distinct and assured without any wavering. Towering high she stretches into eternity far above, and yet she is immovable, anchored down, rooted firmer then the most stable of ground. Definition is defined by her, Existence exists within her, Security is secured because of her …and from her all Life and Love originate. And as for the one who would settle in her shade …they shall obtain far more riches then any master, king, subject or slave.

And so where shall we turn, and to whom shall we live? For the things of this earth are fading away, along with its passions, lusts, greed and pain. But in Him, in Jesus, in the place that is Right, endure the most beautiful of glories, ways, joys and delights. Therefore let us speak what is True, let us do what is Right, and let us live in what is Real …to the glory of our God!

For “whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” - Psalm 73:25-26

Much love in the One who exists, to Him be the praise, honour and glory forever and ever; and may it be so. g-

One-way...

2007-06-12T02:59:00.000+01:00

A few months ago I was in my kitchen with my friend Dan; we were contemplating life, dealing with difficulties and venting about the frustrations of this age… but after awhile of discussion we remembered to remember Him and desired to rest in His presence and peace.

Jesus said, ‘…and do this in remembrance of Me.’ Eat this bread and drink this wine …do this, to remember Me. In the middle of circumstance we sought to remember Jesus at the cross. But instead of the small crumb and tiny shot glass of juice that one usually gets in church, we decided to each eat a whole slice of bread and drink a full glass of drink… for in doing so we thought our remembrance would be brought to a slow contemplation of what had actually occurred 2000 years ago. …that with the multiple bites of the bread, we might be reminded that the cross took place through the pain staking confines of time, and how for endless hours He was subjected to immense suffering and torture; while with each staggered gulp of drink volumes of blood spilled out of the broken body of the Holy One… …and for me.

So as I knelt on the cold kitchen floor, I thought of what was I was about to do… …its true, I was about to put to death the Perfect Creator, crucify the Christ ….and kill an innocent Friend!!! …as this thought ran through my heart I could not do it …I could neither eat nor drink… for how could I considered it fair to have this man suffer for my wrong doings, and how could I allow another to receive a punishment which was rightly mine to receive. And so I sat there still neither eating nor drinking.

…silence settled in the room, but after some time…

…He whispered to me, ‘There’s no other way… …if you want to meet with Me you have to go through the cross… …for there’s no other way available.’

I wanted to meet with God, but in doing so I was forced to kill the Christ… my heart broke. Why should the innocent have to be punished for the guilty? Why should He have to die for me?

To meet with Him, to stand in the presence of the Perfect I myself must be perfect… for impurity can not mix with that which is Pure. Forgiveness is needed. My imperfections need to be forgiven (made right). Yet forgiveness requires blood, and Perfect Forgiveness requires Perfect Blood. But why specifically blood? Why not flowers, gold or some other created thing?

Yet Blood equals Love …and as it is stated, ‘Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.’ For it can also be said that one’s life is found in their blood, and so the greatest love is even displayed when ‘one lay down his Blood for his friends.’ And yet God is love. So the Greatest God (Love) could of only been revealed through Dying (spilling His Blood) for His Beloved, first His Father and second for us. Could we of expected any less from our God… Love Divine, perfect in all His ways.

Again, Forgiveness requires Blood (Heb. 9:22), and Blood points to Love (John 15:13), Perfect Love produces Complete Forgiveness (1 Cor. 13:5- keeps no record of wrongs), and Complete Forgiveness requires Perfect Blood (Jesus).

To accept God’s Forgiveness, is to accept God’s Love and to accept God’s Love is to accept God’s blood (Jesus). For those who believe in Jesus the Deliverer… have infused themselves with the love, blood (even life) and forgiveness of God, and have been allowed to enter the Perfect and Divine, even the very presence of God. Glory and mighty songs of joy to our God of all Perfection.

Let us, and even if it may be hard, accept the heart grabbing gift of the Divine Love (the cross) for God has chosen it to be the Perfect and Only way. I pray that this Perfect Love will produce all gratitude and thankfulness, compelling each of us to surrender all that we are to His majesty and service… for it the least that we could ever do, in respect to the most Amazing of all gifts. Let us glory and celebrate with a thankful heart… receiving His love, His forgiveness and His blood (even Jesus)… sharing Him (Love) with all.

Thank you for your love and prayers… they most certainly have been received and felt. Much love to His glory. g-

This our eternal bread (2)...

2006-12-18T02:24:00.000Z

“… and this same flower that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying.” - Dead Poets Society

If life is limited to this earth, then yes tomorrow we die. Caught up in a series of haphazard events; quandary doldrums of listless breaths; running about with illusion abreast…for tomorrow we die. For if tomorrow we die, then let us continue to be concerned with the worries of the day; continuing in the manner in which we each play. Where every good intention remains as dust, and the very air we breathe subsides into an empty glory. Yet only if there were a hope, a way to be set free…a release from this tomorrow’s death.

And yet once again, we pronounce Jesus as the bread of life; our provision and our sustenance for all of eternity. Death to the one who has no bread, but life to the one who eats…and to him life all the more abundantly.

Therefore where do we place our concerns, and where do we devote our time? Is it in the dying moments of the day and the passing glory of tomorrow? How is it that we can sometimes forget so great a glory? For as Peter replies, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” - John 6:68 What else do we have to do, and where else do we have to go? What is it that is placed in our agendas that is of such dire importance? Shall we not seize this our food, capture it and hold on to it with all that we are, and by all that we have. Let us eat of it Today with all gladness! Giving of what we have been given. So that tomorrow (and even today) we (and all those who eat) may live!

“Do not labor for food which perishes, but for food which endures to everlasting life.” And furthermore, “how do you benefit if you gain the whole world, but lose your own soul in the process?”

Much love, much labor, and many prayers. g-

This our eternal bread…

2006-10-21T02:12:00.000+01:00

“I am the bread of life…He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise Him up on the last day.” - John 6

In Ernest Hemingway’s short story The Gambler, the Nun and the Radio, he writes, “as it is…bread is the opium of the people.” We the people are bound by our need for bread; we are subject to this our need for sustenance…in the temporary, as well as in the eternal.

God provided “temporal bread” (manna) to sustain the people during their wandering through the wilderness (Ex. 16), God provided enough “temporal bread” to feed 5000 men during Jesus’ time here on earth; but now, that is today God provides the “eternal bread” which sustains the world unto eternal life. Concerning temporal bread we eat to the filling of our stomachs and are sustained for a while; but with eternal bread we eat (accept, believe) to the filling of our hearts and are sustained throughout all of eternity. And again what is it in which we eat, that is believe? Is it not in God’s provision, in which He speaks of in saying, “My flesh.” And what is His flesh? But the sacrifice, replacement and punishment for our sins. Therefore the one who eats His flesh (eternal bread), accepts everlasting provision; and will never again be hungry. Hallelujah!!! Praise be the name of Jesus, our provision!!! He truly is YHWH yira, that is the “LORD our provision!” - Gen. 22:14

Much love and tender mercies. g-

Reality?

2006-07-09T03:16:00.000+01:00

reality. what a trip. i move about, i wander astray, yet it seems that it is never as real as it could be. i go for a walk, i sit for a drive, and the clouds continue to roll on by; for where is this place i claim to rest my head, where is this place i claim to live instead?

it often feels like a dream, or a blink of an eye; what is this awakening, this call in my brain - is it a stutter of reality or am i just insane? i attempt to lift my head on a rainy day, but it does not differ from cloudless rays; what is this twisting in my bones, this aching in my heart?

all this may seem strange or absurd at least, but it is an unknowing from which i need relief. how much longer will this stay, how much longer shall we play in this facade stricken land; can it remain a fact of thought or will i ever see You face to face?

it’s hope that keeps me alive, keeps me running the race; for You know that it is not i, but You, that i should relate. i call upon Your name, i ask to see Your face, but i remain wandering in this land of shame. who’s to see or who’s to know the mystery for which You have called us to be. a wander am i without a home, reality torn into this body in which i was born, cannot wait for the love which i must find.

Forever....

2006-06-16T13:21:00.000+01:00

As far as the east is from the west, that's how far….

The other day I was thinking about this verse and had to ask myself, 'really how far is it? …the east from the west?' … and somewhere in the middle of my contemplation I began to think of running, and running races. I thought of the painful difficulties of endurance and the pounding trials of fatigue that every runner faces, and how alwaysduring this grueling competition, at some point every runner is will ask themselves the inevitable question, 'When is this going to end?'

…and again …as far as the east is from the west. 'When will this ever end?' …or 'will this ever be finished?' And yet is not God's grace like this? For will we ever be able to exhaust the Grace of God? …or will His forgiving Mercies ever end?

Abundant and everlasting is God's forgiving! For His Mercies excelhigher then the imagination and His Grace engulfs the span of eternity. How great is our God, full of Mercy and Grace! And so let us rejoice and be glad in His Greatness!

Please pray that we would be found in this Grace, a Grace which produces a gratitude overflowing and a thankfulness which pours itself completely into all that is done. Even as it is stated in the letter to the Romans, where for 11 chapters Paul speaks of the Grace of God,and then in the 12th Chapter he opens it up by saying, 'therefore because of ALL this grace, let us offer our bodies as living sacrifices… which is our joyous act of worship and overflowing heart of thanks.'

Drowning...

2006-04-08T02:54:00.000+01:00

“and they think it strange that you do not run with them in the same flood of dissipation’ - 1 Peter 4:4

Day in and day out we are being faced with a persecution of the severest kind… everyday we are confronted by opposition on the left and on the right, we are being threatened in our work places and in our classrooms, we are consumed by it in our music and films, we are faced by it in our every circumstance and situation, for we can not escape this unrelenting persecution. And our battle is one of the most deceptive all kinds, it is an attack towards the possession of our minds (and even our faith). It is a battle of philosophy and belief, a war which attacks the Grace of God and seeks to destroy the Truth of His Son. Today there is no truth at all, but all things are relative; today there is no God, but god is in each one; today grace and peace are found in ourselves and there is no absolute moral standard. For man has become the standard, and in doing so has set himself up as God, calling all the shots. And so in much frustration and heartbreak I can not even begin to count the endless number of conversations which I have had, and every time I hear them say, ‘there is no truth to be found and there is no God which exists.’ Day in and day out we are being overwhelmed with this flood which denies the Truth, and even God… and “they became futile in their speculations, thoughts, imaginations and very purpose” - Ro.1:21.

The ‘flood of dissipation’… excess of rioting, overflowing of rebellion, the complete wasting away of… and in this flood which totally surrounds, engulfs and overwhelms us, there are those who are drowning and those who are being saved, but as it remains all are in the flood; including those who believe (‘those who are brought safely through the water’ - 1 Peter 3:20). But even though we are being preserved by being in the ark (seal of the Spirit), we are subject to the same waters which destroyed the earth, the pounding of waves, the torrents and the ‘suffering’ circumstances (in the gloomy, cold, dark days of the flood; and even for us on a crowded, damp and probably smelly ship). Yet it was through the ark that eight persons were saved from the flood; so what was judgment for the one was salvation for the other. And it is this same ark (Christ) which saves us now. So let us not jump ship, nor be frightened by the waves and crashing of many waters, but let us hold on to the hope of the promises which will appear in the day of their coming. …safety, rest and salvation.

Honestly it is so difficult here, in a place where morals do not exist and God is an imagined thought; now more than ever I am seeing the immense persecution (attacking of our faith) that is occurring here and overwhelming the people, even those who believe. Please keep us in your prayers that we may survive this, and there are some which have already seemed to fall away, and so we pray for them all the more. Pictured below are your brothers and sisters, as well as your sons and daughters, please remember us as we remember you and ask for your well being, that we all may be found firmly established in the absolute Grace and Truth of our God and Savior.

But even if we should suffer for righteousness' sake (belief in Christ), we are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” - 1 Peter 3:14

Naked...

2006-02-10T04:00:00.000Z

“Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.” - Genesis 3:7

As a result of one act of disobedience, Adam and Eve perceived themselves to be naked. Now this nakedness does not speak merely of the physical, but also of the spiritual; that is their souls had become bare, forsaking the covering and protection of their fellowship with God. Tarnished from innocence, branded because of disobedience, they had produced in themselves everlasting guilt and shame.

How true is this of us; that we too are found to be spiritually naked. For which of us has never sinned, nor done wrong? And this wrong producing in us the same guilt and shame, as if we were to be publicly found naked. In turn, our naked souls become weathered and chapped as they are exposed to the raw elements of this world. In prevention of this, we naturally seek “fig leaves,” shelters from shame. Denying reality, we hide behind items of “importance” and issues of the day, running about in a panic trying to build for ourselves a sure foundation in which we can “trust.” But like a 2 year old child, who inefficiently tries to clothe himself, do we likewise fumble about with our inability to truly clothe ourselves. For in the end, these “fig leaves” will not protect us from the harsh elements of reality. The reality is that we are naked, and in need of a parent; that is a loving Father who will clothe us, who will cover us from our shame. We need spiritual coverings and an eternal home, “to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked… so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life.” - 2 Cor. 5:2-4

Thanks be to God, that Jesus is the life which swallows up our shame and mortality. For in Jesus, our guilt, our shame, and our death have been taken away… completely! For what was once my burden He bore on the cross, and what was to be my punishment He took; after dying, He was buried; and then after three days He rose from the dead, proving that He has victory over death… so that whoever shall believe in Him shall not die in their shame, but have everlasting and eternal life with God the Father. Praise be to God, and glory to the name of Jesus!!!

Is this not the Gospel (Good News) of God, that because of Jesus we are no longer found to be spiritually naked. Therefore let us proclaim this on the rooftops, with all rejoicing!! And for me, please pray that I too may speak boldly, as I ought to speak. With all the gentle mercies of God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ. g-